There are a couple of ideas that I have for my senior project but they revolve around a central theme, but how I execute it is not confirmed as yet. The project is based on me and the root cause of my problems= "insecurity". Insecurity in terms of my family, my friends, my profession, my life, my appearance or almost everything. This insecurity eventually leads to unhappiness or lonliness and is a sort of an endless cycle.
To illustrate or represent this idea I wanted to show a big glass dome. This glass dome would be hollow and the inner walls of this dome would be covered with a sort of a mosaic of mirrors or glass or a combination of the 2. The glass or mirrors will be with jagged edges to represent "fragility" or "insecurity" too. Also when you look at these walls, it will show many reflections of you, thereby showing how different I am in different situations. Even though there are many images of me in those mirrors they are all still me, still one person.
The dome wil represent me..or my world. Earlier I described what the dome will look like from the inside, but from the outside it will "look" smooth as I will cover it with plaster. The thing about plaster is, that when it dries it will become white. White represent peace and purity something I try to "portray". But when you come close and touch it you realise its not that smooth after all as plaster is rather rough when it dries. The globe on the whole will also have cracks in it, to reveal what is inside. Kind of like what I am, if I am comfortable enough I reveal a little about myself too..a little about myself. It also means that theres only so much one can "portray" and sometimes a person just creacks under worldy pressures and reveals a lot about themselves people would never know. The cracks in the walls of the dome represent that concept.
Idea 2 is much like the first one but the only difference is that instead of a dome I use the shape of a swirl. (Like a whirlpool) This shape looks a lot like something trying to curl in, like when a person curls up into the "womb" position when they are feeling unsafe or insecure. Also if its this shape entering the installation will be easier as one end will be open.
It will also be "maze-like" to enter it as it will be circular representing how it is when people get to know me better, im rather confused and confusing.
All along the walls of this swirl, there will be a mosaic sort of a pattern with broken mirrors or glass. Sort of to represent my "sensitivity" or "fragilityy" as a person. As one goes deeper into the swirl the concentration of these broken mirror mosaics increase and it gets darker to represent that as people get to know me, im not really who I "seem" to be but more of a sensitive person in reality.
One element that is common between both the ideas is the presence and importance of some light in the entire installation. At night if I am sleeping in a dark room I like to light a small candle that floods the room with a warm glow. The shadows caused by the flickering flame "fill" the room for me, and I dont feel like Im alone any more.Lighting a lamp has a lot of spiritual and religious significance in India. A burning lamp is also used to represent the mind of a person and since this entire project is to do with the stability of my mind it al relates very well. I will position these lights randomly in protrusions from the walls. The protrusions will have a mesh like look to it and with candles in them they will create shadows. These protrusions represent the people who try to reach out to me in my life and the shadows- their imprints, impact in my life. I will haveto decide what exactly the pattern of this mesh will be, therby effecting what the shadows will look like too. I will also have to decide whether the lights are natural lights like lit candles or artificial electric lights. The natural lights shadows will be wavering representing the wavering influence of these people on me. The electronic lights will create steady/ unwavering shadows representing the importance of that person and how steady their influence has been on my life.
The materials that I will use for either of the ideas hasnt been decided as yet. But it will vary between opaque areas and transparent areas. Either that or I will make the entire structure opaque with small cracks in the walls to represent the "tears" (like "tearing" paper) cause by different people or sitatuations etc in my life. These cracks work 2 ways. They let outside light in, sort of like "life's illuminating lessons" in. It also gives a peek into what my life or what I really feel like inside. Technically it also helps create some ventilation for the candles to burn.