After a lot of thinking I have decided to change my idea from the "dome" to something more practical financially and physically. The concept will be more or less the same in terms of the "insecurity" or "confusion" this time. Instead of an installation I have decided to make a sculpture.
My name is Deviyani and many people often call me "devi" for short. In hindi the term "devi" means "goddess" and I thought I should play on the idea as it makes the entire project more personal than the dome. Also since it is a sculpture it will be an easier target to reach. Indian goddesses are often depicted with many hands often 6 or even 8 too. I would like to mention that this does not mean that the goddess "actually" has so many hands...but rather each hand signifies the qualities that she possesses or roles that she plays.
As a young woman I can kind of relate to that as I also feel Im also balancing/ juggling many things in life, mostly emotional, in terms of family, friends, personal and professional fronts. There are so many things we all haveto deal with at any age..and I am at a turning point in my career..where I need to decide "what next". I have completed my education and have to decide what to do now; work?..further education? or marriage?....most likely it will be the first. Also as we grow older our responsibilities increase, we make more family ties and are answerable to many more people than you can imagine. I feel I have so many expectations to meet, everyone has a different perspective of me. I am different as a daughter, as a sister, cousin or niece. I have realised that it is crucial to maintain a healthy balance between all the people, duties and important aspects in my life to remain happy...and WHERE to strike that balance is what the question is all about. As a result I feel I am juggling more things I can handle but as we grow older it isnt really a matter of "choice" anymore but more of a "responsibility".
So far the materials I have decided to use are wire for the main sculpture depicting a form much like the goddesses they show in India. However I wont give the face any distinct features and am planning to keep the eyes closed. Just the feeling of closing my eyes will make all my worries go away, or more like closing my eyes not wanting to face the world at times. Just like sometimes when you want to just shut off and disconnect from everyone and everything for a while. The sculpture will also have jagged pieces of mirror placed all through the sculpture to represent how all these decisions and "balancing act" has made me very sensitive or "fragile" per se. Some parts of the wire will also poke out to represent that sometimes being "touched" by someone (emotionally not physically) could hurt and that once in a while we do have outbursts and let out a bit of our confusion or frustration on others.
The sculpture will be empty from the inside so you can see through the sculpture. This represents two things; firstly it represents how "empty" we are from inside as we lose ourselves in the process of proving ourselves to people and living upto their expectations. Secondly the wire also acts like a cage that "cages" all my emotions from the outside world. The barbed wire effect with the few protrusions are kind of like the same idea like "barbed" wire to kind of steer people away from getting to know the real me..or what kind of a person I really am. I am sure a lot of us can relate to this at some stage or the other. Not all of us can come off as open books immediately and dont necessarily portray or show our TRUE selves for different reasons. Most often because its something that we arent too proud of or something you dont want people to know you by.
So far this is what I have. I am working on a few experiments and if I can work well with wire I will most likely go ahead with it. IF I find that this material is virtually impossible to handle then I may switch to plaster casts; but it does not deliver the same effect as does wire. I may add a few other materials such as light, glass, clay or net but I am not sure about that as of now.